Lauren Kester

With Grace...

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 18:35:58 -0400

Yesterday while browsing my twitter timeline, I came across a retweet a friend of mine had posted. This person spoke of being a Christian and being in favor of marriage equality. As I am someone who is proud of my faith, I promptly sent a response thanking her for the support. What I did not anticipate, was a slew of Christians who questioned how I could be both gay and a follower of Jesus. The answer is surprisingly simple…

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<3 <3 <3

To my Papa John's delivery man

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 17:46:16 -0400

hotmessinbrooklyn:

luckyshirt: You tried, dog. We should all be this lucky

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 18:02:53 -0400

luckyshirt:

You tried, dog.

We should all be this lucky

foodfuckery: Molten Chocolate Cakes Recipe Selfie

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 18:00:03 -0400

foodfuckery:

Molten Chocolate Cakes

Recipe

Selfie

'The Bachelor' Job Titles vs. Actual Job Descriptions

Tue, 19 Mar 2013 21:27:23 -0400

I recently started watching ABC’s ‘The Bachelor’. It seems to me that many of these so called “Marketing Consultants” are flubbing their job titles to look better on network TV. The following is a list of Bachelor contestants’ job titles vs. what I believe to be their actual job descriptions.

Journalist = Writes pet eulogies in the neighborhood’s bi-monthly newsletter

Professional Actor = Times Square Elmo Impersonator

Professional Musician = backup instrumentalist in FreeCreditReport.com band

Professional Model = see professional actor

Food Critic = unpaid Taco Bell taco taster

Event Planning Consultant = But Light Lime street team captain

Artist = Spends a lot of time on his/her Pinterest Crafting board

Entrepreneur = Owns an unsuccessful bounce-house business

Executive Assistant = Answers phones part time at her stepmom’s tanning salon

Fashion Designer = Steals from his/her part time job at Forever 21

Woahhh… that ‘ish is deep.

Sat, 16 Mar 2013 16:29:59 -0400

Woahhh… that ‘ish is deep.

Fact: When 30 Rock wrapped, I got all of Kenneth’s pins...

Fri, 15 Mar 2013 10:42:51 -0400

Fact: When 30 Rock wrapped, I got all of Kenneth’s pins and badges. I just need a grey suit for a perfect Halloween costume for forever.

Photo

Fri, 15 Mar 2013 10:39:51 -0400

"We will call you back within the hour" and other lies Time Warner told me

Fri, 15 Mar 2013 10:29:00 -0400

You know that part in ‘When Harry Met Sally’, right at the very end, when Harry figures out that he is in love with Sally and he says “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible!” Well, that is how I am currently feeling about pursuing my love of comedy. I love making people laugh and I may well want to spend the rest of my life trying to do just that. Unfortunately, I have not quite mastered how to be funny all the time, or on cue, or especially when I am trying to be. I spent a good deal of this week writing a short open mic comedy set. Now it isn’t finished and I have MUCH tweaking to do, but it felt GREAT writing it because it was something that was mine that I created. I didn’t know writing would make me so full of joy (and full of myself!).

I was so excited to keep writing today and keep the good feelings coming. But guess what? The ideas weren’t flowing. Every joke idea was a dead end, every original thought was counteracted by the realization that said thought was something I’d seen on Parks and Rec the night before. Writing is hard ya’ll! I left my desk feeling disheartened. What had started off as a day of writing groundbreaking hit television comedy ended in me writing a list of puns I could make with the word “poop.” (Chicken poop for the soul, Bowling for poop, Poop up Video on VH1, Harry Pooper, You Me and Poopree starring Owen Wilson, POOP (Gwyneth Paltrow’s new website that charts all of her BMs), Pooper starring Joseph Gordon Levitt, The Little Engine that Pooped, it goes on. I’m very mature.)

Its a hard lesson to learn that I’m never going to be “On my game” all the time. One of my friends suggested that I take a moment each day to write down all the things I’ve accomplished over the course of that day. It may not seem like much, but after awhile the little things add up to be big accomplishments! Small victories eventually lead to a war won!

What I’ve accomplished today:

1) I successfully chose a spinach salad over a cheeseburger for lunch. By making this bold choice surely I must have prevented countless possible future diseases & have made HUGE steps in achieving my Beyonce body

2) Successfully completed 15 minutes of a Jillian Michaels workout DVD. It’s only half the DVD, but hey, it’s something. Remember, Beyonce body.

3) Talked to someone at Time Warner Cable who was named VAGLEY and was able to get through the conversation without laughing. I mean really. Vag-ley. That is her name. Poor girl.

4) Wrote some terrible poop puns

5) Learned all the words to the new One Direction single (oh, who are we kidding, I already knew the words weeks ago!)

6) Fished reading Mindy Kaling’s book

It may not be much, but surely its something!

"Here’s the thing I think about the highs: People put a lot of expectation on the highs. People say,..."

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 12:09:49 -0400

“

Here’s the thing I think about the highs: People put a lot of expectation on the highs. People say, “If I were to get this job, if I were to get married, if I were to get the sitcom or whatever.” But a lot of people who have gotten those things have realized that they didn’t satisfy.

It can be a terrifying place when you’ve gotten your thing and it didn’t satisfy. I’ve said this before, but if you don’t practice contentment where you’re at, you’re not going to be content when you get what you want.

”

- Tony Hale in RELEVANT magazine

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/culture/tv/hey-brother#_=_

selfie

Wed, 13 Mar 2013 19:53:12 -0400

selfie

"Routine shortens and variety lengthens time, and it is therefore in the power of men to do something..."

Wed, 13 Mar 2013 08:43:02 -0400

“Routine shortens and variety lengthens time, and it is therefore in the power of men to do something to regulate its pace. A life with many landmarks, a life which is much subdivided when those subdivisions are not of the same kind, and when new and diverse interests, impressions, and labours follow each other in swift and distinct successions, seems the most long…”

- Lecky, The Map of Life

since feeling is first - e.e. cummings

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 08:43:27 -0400

since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;

wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world

my blood approves,
and kisses are better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don’t cry
—the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids’ flutter which says

we are for each other: then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life’s not a paragraph

And death i think is no parenthesis

atencio: tothemaxxx: My favorite picture. BEST BROS I feel...

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 14:36:21 -0400

atencio:

tothemaxxx:

My favorite picture.

BEST BROS

I feel like this is important.

"Confidence is 10% hard work and 90% delusion. Just thinking foolishly that you will be able to do..."

Thu, 07 Mar 2013 19:14:41 -0500

“Confidence is 10% hard work and 90% delusion. Just thinking foolishly that you will be able to do what you want to do.”

- - Tina Fey

And that folks, is why I am going to (foolishly) pursue my dream of writing comedy for television.

roaring-softly: I love you and I like you (by Tyler Feder)

Thu, 07 Mar 2013 15:54:25 -0500

roaring-softly:

I love you and I like you (by Tyler Feder)

Photo

Wed, 06 Mar 2013 08:15:50 -0500

stop it right now.

Wed, 06 Mar 2013 08:14:31 -0500

stop it right now.

Photo

Wed, 06 Mar 2013 08:14:08 -0500

Photo

Tue, 05 Mar 2013 21:35:57 -0500