Make your mind your cheer squad

I used to have debilitating anxiety. I was anxious about almost everything, work, money, family, and especially my love life. It controlled me. It made it hard for me to enjoy even the little things without overanalyzing them. My anxiety was controlling my life - not me. 

I spent years in therapy unpacking my past and unpacking my traumas, but it was not until I learned to manage my mind by working with a coach that I finally overcame my anxiety. 

Managing our mind is the practice of actively and intentionally directing our thoughts, emotions, and mental processes in a way that helps us feel more positive and productive. (NO this does not mean we ignore our bad feelings and push them down!) When we manage our minds, we feel better, we achieve more, and we live happier (and less anxious!) lives! 

So how do we manage our minds?

Well, the first step, of course, is awareness. Question your thoughts. See if they are really valid or if they are part of an old pattern that no longer serves you. 

One of my favorite thought work models is Byron Katie's Four Questions. (listen to the podcast with Oprah, it's amazing).

Byron tells us that when we have a thought that makes us anxious we should ask ourselves the following four questions: 

• Is this thought true?

• Can you absolutely know that it's true?

• How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?

• Who would you be without the thought?

When we bring our anxieties through these questions, we can start to become aware that some of the things we think are not our friends, and if we consciously chose to think different thoughts, we'd be a hell of a lot happier.